Wednesday, 9 April 2014

ADHDANGST&moodyWTF is up w me

I'm so irritable I can't stand myself! 
That is all. 
And yet, in the process of setting up this blog, and maybe it's the Mendelssohn piece that the radio was playing in the background, or the pharmaceutical cocktail kicking in, or even possibly the fact that I've dropped of my little one at school, and he was almost even on time(!)... I seem to be marginally calmer. 
I'm going to go with it. 
Deep breaths. 
More later. 
Hugs to all who need them. You know, virtual hugs, because I know that some people who need them are covered in old pee, old clothes, old alcohol breath, and who-knows-what, and I'm not that giving. Not today. Maybe someday. No idea really. Someday. Someday. WTF is up with someday. 
"You're alive today. Remember that," I heard two days ago. True. I also have a final exam in 5 days, my house is a chaotic mess, my five-year-old deserves and wants more of my attention and best-self than I've been giving him lately... and we'll have house guests in 3 days. 
Good times. So, yeah, seize the day and all, but today's got to be all about physiology, and then all about my beloved boy, and then to sleep and repeat. And try to ignore the chaos around me. And if my beloved hubby to whom I'm immensely grateful doesn't like it, well, I hope he'll stick around anyway. I've only got a few more days to learn this stuff. 

So, not much of an intro but there I go... Mom, wife, newly (okay coming up on a year) diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive subtype), long-term recurring depression, always anxious, bad sleeper, half-decent genes otherwise... recovering professional... Future unknown. 
Loved, I remind myself, and very loving, but sadly unreliable and sometimes bitchy. Sound like anyone you know? Hug her and love her if you can. Prickly little lion. 

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